Part #2P700 72WHR, LI-ION,PRMRY BATT,I8500/8600,CUST

If you were to check the part number against the online listings, it obviously is the primary battery part number, and the description itself indicates it is the primary battery, not the modular bay battery.

So, as any idiot who speaks the English language could see, I ordered and should have received the primary battery after which I was seeking.  Yet Dell's response was "we're sorry; you're wrong; you can't exchange it for something else."

You would imagine that a simple reply explaining these facts to them would clear up the situation, but you would be wrong.  After explaining the above to them, I got this reply: "Thank you for contacting Dell Financial Services (DFS).  Please be informed that we are unsure of your request. If you would please reply with further details on your inquiry, we will be happy to assist you."

WHUUAAT? (Imagine Jon Stewart saying that.)  How did I get forwarded to financial services??  I simply replied to the email that Dell sent me.  Of course, I was a bit surprised and didn't really note this initially, so I replied, explaining again that they need to just send me the battery I ordered.

In response to that, I got: "For assistance with your equipment, please contact Dell Customer Service at (800) 624-9897. You may also send them an email at www.dell.com<http://www.dell.com>. Please reference your Dell Order Number 505944332."

It was at this point I realized I had somehow gotten forwarded to financial services.  You can imagine my initial amazement in hearing that I should contact Dell Customer Service when that was, in fact, exactly what I had done.  But I tried once more to reply, saying that I don't know how I got forwarded to financial services but could they please forward it back to the right department. 

In response I got: "Dell Financial Services are the exclusive leasing agents for Dell Inc. We regret we cannot assist you with your issue. For your convenience, we have copied Dell Inc. on this email so they may address your Dell issues. You can reach Dell Customer Service directly by calling (800) 624-9897. You may also send them an email from their website at www.dell.com."

Of course, they did not, in fact, copy Dell.  So I decided to try again, starting from the web site as they suggested (which is what I did in the first place).  Explaining the problem once again, I got this in reply: "Thank you for contacting Dell Technical Support.  I understand your concern regarding ordering the battery for your laptop.  I would suggest you to contact our customer care department regarding the order issue."

Now somehow I had been forwarded to technical support??  I selected customer support from their drop-down on the web site, so I don't know how this happened.  But who knows, maybe I had unintentionally scrolled the drop-down using the mouse wheel or something.  So I went yet again to the web site and filled the form out again, explaining the situation.  You'll never guess what happened next.

"Mr. Little, I understand your concern regarding the wrong battery. I sincerely apologize and truly regret any inconvenience or frustration this matter may have caused.  Please allow me a moment to explain that I can issue you an exchange but exchange is only for like to like items. Hence you will receive the same item and your purpose will not be resolved. Hence in order to resolve your issue, I have setup a credit return of the order number 505944332."

Sound familiar?  That's because it is!  It's the same frickin' thing they said to me when I first contacted them.  Not only is it wrong, it is now non-sensical, seeing as how I've already returned the thing.  AAARRRRGGGHHH!

I think what is most frustrating is that these doofuses in customer support don't seem to listen.  It's almost as if they are automated, just looking at key words, doing a simple system query, and responding with a rote answer.  Clearly, as any human can understand if they'll take a minute to do so, there is a problem with Dell's supply chain.  Somewhere between the packing slip and the shelf, they made an error. 

Now I could just try ordering again; maybe Billy Bob in fulfillment just accidentally grabbed the wrong battery off the shelf.  But maybe they've actually got the shelf labeled incorrectly and I'd have to go through this whole thing yet again.  I'm sick of it.  All I want to do is get a stinking battery for my laptop; it should not be that difficult!  And now the sale on the battery has ended, so I'll have to pay an extra $20 for Dell's incompetence.  Sigh...

Anyhoo, I wanted to vent somewhere, and I figured this would work.  But I also need to have an online reference so that I can reference it the next 10 times I have to reply to them to explain the problem.  So Dell rep, if you're reading this, please actually fix the problem and stop giving me the runaround.

[Update - 8/9/2005 12:00p EDT]
Dell Rep just called me and told me that "it looks like we sent you the wrong battery."  I am assuming that this is just lip service to get me to quit bugging them because he still didn't offer the right solution, saying rather that since the return was already being processed, the best they can do is let me buy it again.  No matter, all of this hassle motivated me to do a little searching, and I found what seems to be a good deal at Pacific Battery.  It's $60 cheaper, has free shipping, and no taxes.  Can't beat that (assuming it is all valid).  We'll see.  At this point, it can't be much worse than dealing with Dell...

[Update - 8/10/2005 8:08a EDT]
Just read an email from Dell saying that they have acknowledged my request to return my product.  Ha!  I never requested to return the thing, AND this is the second time this has happened (I actually returned it the first time).  Poor UPS guy is going to come out to my place for nothing.

Sadly, I think Dell has grown too fast for its own good and has sacrificed quality service bigtime.  Consider also that becuase I bought my laptop via an Employer Purchase Plan, they don't recognize me as a home user, and so every time I go to contact customer service (even when logged in), they prompt me to chat with them live, but when I go to chat, they tell me that their records show I'm not a home customer and therefore can't chat.  What kind of retardedness is that?  I asked them to mark me as a home customer (because that's what I am), but of course, their people-robots couldn't do that. 

As Mitch says, they make great equipment, but their service TOTALLY SUCKS.  Well, almost totally; if you can convince them to come out and fix something, that usually turns out well, but to get to that point, you have to go through the robots first.  I guess all we can do now is speak out and fill out the surveys in a very honest and direct manner.  Maybe they'll figure out they have a problem one of these days and fix it.

[Update 8/22/2005]

I couldn't help but add this.  The thing that started my attempt to get a new battery was a support request to Dell about my existing battery.  Well, no telling if it was the battery at the time; the thing is that the computer would just shut down without warning about 30 minutes after being unplugged.  So I guess it was a good chance that it'd be the battery, and that is in fact what Dell asked me to test, i.e., get a spare battery and see if the same thing happens.

Well, after I got my battery from the aforementioned company (not Dell), I plugged it in, charged it, and have been using it with success for some time now, so it is apparently that the old battery (and it is fairly old) is no good any longer.  So I decided to just reply to Dell on the original support thread, saying "yeah, you were right, it was the battery; I got a new one."

The funny thing is that they replied to me and said, "if you'd like to get a new battery, please go to our online store..."  I couldn't help but laugh at this; after all the trouble I had and after I had just told them that I had bought a new one, they were telling me to go buy a new one!  Just one more example of those support techs NOT LISTENING AT ALL to what you are saying.  BLARRRRRGH!